Growing Up

Time has really flown by. After my visitors, my memories are a whirlwind of trips and excursions, papers and school work. With my parents, I visited Keukenhof gardens, Amsterdam, Antwerp and Gent. With CIEE, we visited Strasbourg, Frieburg, Trier and Luxembourg. Angelo came to visit me, I went to Gent with friends, I went to Brugge for a field trip, I went back to Strasbourg to stay with a friend, and I have planned trips to Malta, Berlin and Paris after exams. Each trip is memorable in its own unique way and traveling around Europe has been very rewarding.

I have made great friends, seen beautiful places, eaten amazing foods and I have experienced the crummiest weather possible all along the way. With only one month left abroad, my perspective of myself, Belgium and life have all evolved. My time here has definitely changed me in many ways, some more profound than others.

Before my time in Belgium, "white sauces" have always been mysterious and terrifying to me. I chose to stay away from these questionable toppings such as cream cheese, sour cream, mayonnaise, yogurt, etc. in order to avoid facing the fear of what they might do to me. Now, I find myself craving mayonnaise on my sandwiches, and I even bought a jar from the grocery store to add to my home cooking (which is finally improving!). And, surprise surprise, yogurt is pretty good too! I especially love it when it is mixed with fresh fruit like kiwi or blueberries... even a spoon full of honey makes this once scary white liquid a delicious snack.

My French language skills have improved dramatically. Of course I am not yet to the level I strive to be at some day in the future, but I am getting there! However, my English seems to have gotten worse. I sometimes have difficulties recalling English vocabulary and my American friends here seem to be the only ones who understand this awkwardness of no longer being able to speak English with ease. I am stuck somewhere between English and French and neither of them are perfect. Let me tell you, this phenomenon can be frustrating and often leads to me retreating into my bedroom to watch hours of Law and Order SVU in order to avoid communicating with others (this seems extreme, I wish it wasn't true).

I've grown up since I have been abroad too. I find myself purchasing dishes and home accessories rather than clothes and jewelry--well in addition to clothes and jewelry, I enjoy getting up early (before noon) and hearing the birds singing. Yes, I still have a larger than life poster of Beyonce in my room, I still sleep with my unicorn pillow pet and every once in a while life seems to be all wrong without Mom around, but I really do see some significant growth. I have a clearer vision of what I want from myself and from my life. I understand my anxiety and am learning to cope and control it. I have learned that good friends and good music can make even the darkest days brighter. Being away from friends and family, making new friends, learning to adjust to a new way of life, and learning to enjoy hanging out with myself have all contributed to this growth--along with a few stories which are not appropriate for this blog. I am happy and confident.

Brussels may be dirty and have the worst weather ever, but it has taught me so much and will always have a special place in my heart.